Additional Things That Suck

I'm thinking of making a series called "It sucks when you really have to poop..." and having characters in various situations in which they have to poop and it sucks. Opinions?

People You See at a House Party

One time I was at a party standing around and not talking to anyone. Then I saw another guy standing around not talking to anyone. Except he had a laptop in front of him and was wearing sunglasses indoors. He also never played any Ke$ha music, so I have respect for the guy.

Things that Suck

There are blogs and books titled "Things that suck" and whatnot but they have published anything in years and I'm pretty sure they've missed a few things. This is the beginning of my additions:

You know what I'm talking about. Maybe you exercise or work in the hot sun, maybe you don't, but at some point in life you will smell like Justin Bieber's tampon. And you just want to be clean, so you get your fancy 5-in-1 Shampoo-conditioner-body wash-shaving cream-spermicide with the scent of an Ocean Breeze and rub it all over yourself. The last thing you want after all that effort is to wipe your Oceany body down with something that's reminiscent of piss and old cheese. By the time you sniff the musty rag it has already dried and smellified most of your body. And all you can do is throw it aside and hope that Mom washes it later.

Sherman's Drawings: Presented IN COLOR!

Time will Tell

Pokemon Alcohol Drink

So I made a comic. It's posted below. I think I'm going to keep them posted separately. Or not. I'll figure it out.

Last night I played Pokémon Monoply, or as it's known colloquially, "Pokémonopoly," or "Pokéoploy," or "Fuckin' Vileplume This Game is Stupid."

But with a Pokémon themed game night, you have to have Pokémon themed drinks. Just binging "Pokemon Drink" will get you information on Pokemon drinking games and how to satisfy the thirsty guards in Saffron City, so you need to specify alcohol when searching for recipes.

One I came across was the Bulbasaur family at The Drunken Moogle. It called for lime stuff and melon liqueur and mint garnish, which are expensive and/or hard to find at Jewel.

Eventually we just said "Screw it, let's just get some green booze." because the key part of the Bulbasaur is the green. This is our recipe:

Bulbasaur (shot):

1/2 shot Apple Schnapps

1/2 shot Apple Vodka

A few drops of lemon or lime juice for extra sour kick.

Ivysaur:

1 shot Apple Schnapps

1 shot Apple Vodka

Pour in a lowball glass and fill the rest with Ice and Moutain Dew (or if you're poor and at Jewel, Mt Chill) with juice to taste.

Venusaur:

1.5 shots Apple Schnapps

1.5 shots Apple Vodka

Use same glass as the Ivysaur. Fill rest of glass with Ice, Soda, and Juice.

The key to drinking these is evolving. You must do the Bulbasaur shot before anything else, then the Ivysaur, then the Venusaur. Now, the Venusaur is mostly alcohol. If you want to get messed up, drink Venusaurs. If you want to get tipsy enough to have a good time with your friends and NOT flip the board when you land on Nidoking for like the fifth time in a row, then stick with Ivysaurs.

Other drinks that I'll figure out recipes for later:

Blastoise: UV and something

Charizard: Something red you can light on fire

Koffing: A shot of dark liquor, after which you smoke a cigarette.

Zubat: Your friend gives you a shot out of nowhere, and you must take it. Zubat uses supersonic, which confuses you, so you must spin around three times after taking the shot.

Give me other Pokémon drink ideas. This will make a nice summer project.

Sherman's Pictures

As promised, Thursday is Blog day. It's also Cinco de Mayo aka "Cinco de Drinko" aka "Drinko de Mayo" aka "Drinko da Wine-o" aka "Mexican Independence Day" aka "No, It's Not Mexican Independence Day You Idiot."

I was going to make an actual post, but then George called me. You know George, my BFFL since First Grade. Anyway I hung out with him but I didn't want to let this go unposted so here's some pictures I made:

This is a can lid that is a piggy

This is an Orca-stra. Get it?

This is the cast of a cartoon series I want to work on. There is a bird named Cheep. A sophisticated bear named Alfredo. And a Monster-with-a-Chainsaw-for-a-Mouth called Mac. Mac is part of a species of monsters with chainsaws for mouths who appeared to me in a dream. Originally they were covered in furry spikes, but those would be hard to animate. That's Alfredo at the bottom expressing anger, because he's not always gentlemanly and sophisticated. Also, that is my thumb. He is not a character.

The future and what will happen

I've been spending the majority of my life going "This would be an awesome idea..." or "This could totally be awesome if..." or "I should write or something every day."

Eff that.

No more could, should, or would. From now on there is only what will or will not happen.

It is summer. I will be updating this at least every Thursday. Thursday is blog day.

There will be pictures. There will be original material.

I will post at least one video per week to the internet. These will be either original things I make with my friends, or old things I've done that aren't on the internet yet. These will be posted Mondays. Monday is video day. Today doesn't count, but I will have something by the end of the week.

I will write a minimalist one-act before the school year begins. For those of you who don't know (all none of you) I am highly involved in student-run theater at my school. I have had an original one-act performed every year since 2007 and this year will be no different. By minimalist I mean no costumes or set. Everyone will sit in chairs and wear whatever they have on that day. I don't know what it will be about, but it will be written by August 29.

Beginning this school year, I will be doing not only Pseudo improv comedy, but a new comedy group project. This will involve Max, Andrew, Jason, Sophie, Ryan and JoeCox. More people will want to be involved because we are awesome. I give Max credit for this one. He is the one who sent out the mass text message saying how awesome everyone is and that we should totally be doing comedy because it is awesome. This is a great idea. It was also a great idea a year ago when "Robot Presidents" was born. It has also been a great idea every summer since high school. This year it will cease to be a great idea. It will be a great reality. We will meet once a week (the day depends on schedules. I can't plan absolutely everything). We will post a video at least once every other week. Most likely Sunday. Again, this depends on unforeseen schedules.

We will not do anything through the school. Doing things through the school involves red tape. You have to get the approval of lots of people before you can do anything.

Relying on others only becomes an excuse not to get anything done.

Last year, there was a little campus improv group called Rhymes With Orange. It died. It died because no one wanted to take charge. Everyone wanted to be involved and say "that's a swell idea" but nobody wanted to do anything about it. Also, our performances interfered with STAGE meetings. Also, because we had performances at Area 51 on Thursday night and nobody would show up without heavy advertising. Also, we had scheduled auditions, but they were blizzard'd out, and I was busy that week and nobody cared enough, including me, to reschedule everything and make it work.

This is me choosing to make things work now. Things will happen.