Things that Suck

There are blogs and books titled "Things that suck" and whatnot but they have published anything in years and I'm pretty sure they've missed a few things. This is the beginning of my additions:

You know what I'm talking about. Maybe you exercise or work in the hot sun, maybe you don't, but at some point in life you will smell like Justin Bieber's tampon. And you just want to be clean, so you get your fancy 5-in-1 Shampoo-conditioner-body wash-shaving cream-spermicide with the scent of an Ocean Breeze and rub it all over yourself. The last thing you want after all that effort is to wipe your Oceany body down with something that's reminiscent of piss and old cheese. By the time you sniff the musty rag it has already dried and smellified most of your body. And all you can do is throw it aside and hope that Mom washes it later.